Charcuterie may be my favorite non-English word in the English language. Does that make sense?

From French, it roughly translates to “cold cooked meats,” but it’s typically used to describe a platter of expensive meats, cheeses and other tid-bits brought out at ~fancy adult parties~

I, personally, reject that description.

Charcuterie is indeed an array of delicious items but it is nowhere near as complicated or elitist as the wine-snobs of the world would like you to believe.

Now who do you think created this board above? None other than yours truly. And while it may look daunting, it’s actually pretty easy and, dare I say, fun. The best part? Almost everything on this board came from local grocery stores and my own kitchen cupboard.

If you want to learn how to create this kick-ass affordable charcuterie that you can bring out at a huge party or a chill night in, read on, friend.

The key to creating a great charcuterie board is balance. It’s the salty and the sweet, the tangy and the smoky, the soft and the hard.

With that in mind, lets talk about some salty and smoky elements first; more specifically the meat. I don’t eat meat myself, so all the selections on this board were chosen by my carnivorous boyfriend. He chose thin sliced mortadella, prosciutto and capocollo all from local grocer Tuscany. The high salt and high fat content of prosciutto presents a bold flavor while mortadella is more mild and spongy. The flavors of capocollo are pretty similar to prosciutto but the kind was a spicy variety which added a nice kick of spice to the board.

Onto the cheese now, and it’s my time to shine. Parmesan is one of my favorite cheeses, so it was an obvious choice for this board. This one comes from Tops. It’s fairly hard with tiny crystallizations due to the aging. It’s nutty and salty, which pairs perfectly with the gouda, a softer cheese purchased from Aldi. The gouda is more smoky and smooth, balancing out the cheeses on the board with a buttery finish.

Now that the foundation of the board has been created, let’s talk about the extras. When creating your own board, any other items you want on the board is completely up to you. This is where you can implement your favorite flavors or try to balance out the meats and cheeses.
For my board, I chose roasted red peppers, black olives, salsa, caviar and crackers. The peppers came from the student food pantry, the olives I found in the back of my own cupboard, the salsa and crackers are from Aldi and the caviar is from Tops.

It’s literally that easy. Find simple, small items you enjoy eating and add them to your board! You can keep it standard with finger foods like the olives or get even more creative with toppings and spreads like the salsa and caviar.

Keep in mind you can also add your own decorative elements. Those little orange blobs? Chipotle aioli from TJMaxx. The green garnishes? Finely chopped spinach.

Take all these elements and put them on any surface of your choosing. My boyfriend happened to have this beautiful wooden board, but oftentimes we’ll make ourselves mini boards on something as simple as a dinner plate. You can choose whatever you’d like to arrange your board on, just make sure you love it just as much as the food you’re placing on it.

And just like that, you can see how I built my charcuterie board from the bottom up, with little to no effort besides the incorporation of my own tastes and those that I’m sharing it with.

This is completely optional, but in my opinion the best way to enjoy a charcuterie is with a nice wine. I enjoyed mine with the Founders Red from local winery Johnson Estate. It was a great drinking wine, without a heavy presence of tannins. [Do you know what those are? If not, better read my last post!]

All in all, charcuterie boards are just plain fun. You get to choose your favorite snacks, arrange them in your own unique way and share with friends. Or not. You could just eat a whole block of cheese yourself. I’m not judging. Either way, though, you’ll get a pretty picture out of it!