5 Nonverbal Signals You Should Look For

Part of our survival as individuals and as a society is to adapt and react to the subtle body language messages we read from those around us. This week we will look at some of the things to look for in conversations and public that can help you better understand an individual or group.

Rocking back and forth or tapping your foot is a habit that many people do or have experienced. (You might be doing it right now while reading this.) This behavior seems natural but do you know why we do it? 

To many people, this behavior is a way to self-soothe. For example, it’s a repetitive motion you have control over, and for many, it’s a stimulus that you can add to keep your mind focused. 

However, there is another reason why we do this. Often people that rock back and forth do this to release stress. Rocking back and forth has been found to endorphins that fight the body’s fight or flight response.

Some researchers also speculate that it could be related to memories you have as a child if your mother rocked you a lot. Therefore rocking unconsciously reminds you of a time when you felt safe. 

The second body language example that you may do often is referred to as “Shrinking.” Like the name suggests this is any type of behavior that makes you look smaller including slouching, crossing your arms or legs, and looking down. 

As you may guess this type of posture makes the person look weaker, unconfident, or timid and is often avoided by business professionals who want to appear intimidating. While this posture is easy to identify in others, you might be surprised how often you do some of these things. 

One intriguing thing about this body language is that it might depend on the social circle you are in at the time. By watching other people’s behavior in a gathering you can quickly establish who has been given the power in a room. 

Speaking of unconscious hierarchy within friend groups, one tricky nonverbal behavior that often happens when speaking with a group of people is to watch who people look at when they laugh. It is proposed that people tend to look at the people they feel closest to.

Scratching your knee while sitting is another unconscious body movement that signals hesitation or thinking something over before agreeing. This small gesture is often used to stall or delay something and can signal your conversation partner’s reluctance toward a request. 

A final nonverbal behavior to notice is touch. This behavior, while vague, had many meanings and can show differences between men and women. Studies show that women use touch in conversation to convey understanding, care, and concern. Men use touch to assert authority over others. 

This difference could lead to miscommunication if you don’t watch for them. 

What are some tricky nonverbal signs that you watch for? Let me know in the comments below!