The Receiver of Love: Expressing what you need.

In this column I will be talking about receiving love after bad experiences.

 

I know in some aspect I talked about my character traits and how it may transition into how I communicate or express my love.

 

I never spoke on how I receive it because of my experience.

 

Giving  love looks like many things such as receiving a gift, someone giving you a compliments, or cooking your favorite meal, or even giving you a nice warm hug.

 

Granted, this can be translated into the meaning of love language.

 

However, in receiving things, sometimes that may come with misrepresentation and also misunderstandings.

 

 

Because of my character and my experiences before I used to feel if someone who said they had feelings for me, gave me a gift, or even gave me compliments.

 

 

One of the thoughts that comes to my head is that they probably don’t like me for me and they must want something.

 

 

 

They may want a favor or may think if I take their gift I have to give something in return, possibly trying to sway me in the wrong direction.

 

These thoughts made me feel insecure, but also less balanced when it came to interacting with the opposite sex.

 

 

 

However, if i’m being honest the opposite sex didn’t really give me much to trust lol.

 

Time after time my romance fell short, not only just because of my experiences, but because I struggled trying to understand and grasped certain gestures and body language…STILL WORKING ON IT.

 

Anyway, I would like to dive deeper within this topic by discussing my current experience and thoughts in my relationship now.

 

 

 

In the beginning when my partner and I first met it almost seemed surreal…like almost too perfect surreal, and although that may have seemed like a green flag, I still had to tread lightly because I was fully aware that some people can pretend with you.

 

 

 

I projected in multiple ways when it came to my partner doing something that is normal and genuine, it was so hard for me to decipher whether or not he was being genuine with me.

 

 

 

This lead me to shut out completely…

 

 

Me shutting out refrained me from communicating with my partner on what was bother me and prevented me from bringing solutions to what I was feeling.

 

This ultimately led my partner and I to issues and me bringing up something that could’ve been avoided if I had communicated naturally and appropriately.

I was fortunate enough to have a partner who thought this was concerning enough to deeply talk about rather than being avoidant and not talking about it at all.

 

 

 

I do think about how many times the issues we faced in terms of being closed off could’ve been avoided, but you can’t learn how to grow until you know what failure feels like.

 

 

 

 

Have you ever withheld your feelings for too long and it turned into anger and caused way more damage when you mention it later?

 

There are many situations where we don’t feel like telling our partner how we feel about certain things, or how we would like to be loved.

 

My advice is to be vulnerable with the one you love, and if they really love you they’ll make efforts to find a solution with you.

 

XOXO,

Sangai