I have always had a difficult relationship with my religion, and whether or not I believe in a Heaven. I have attended a Catholic school education my entire life until college and it was full of many trials and tribulations.
Throughout my time in school I was always taught that being gay was wrong, whether it was through the words of scripture, teacher’s biases, or the bullying from other students. It took me a long time to fully come to terms with who I was as a person. It was not until my senior year in 2017 when I lived my authentic truth, that is, until my interaction with a certain priest.
Now this is not going in the direction that commonly occurs with priests and young impressionable boys, but it has still made an impact on my life.
I was called down to meet our school’s priest to meet in the chapel and during a full period, I was preached directly that I would never be a leader or taken seriously based on how I appeared.
First of all, I see no reason as to why this meeting should have happened in the first place. What was the reasoning, what was the motive? But it did lead me to questioning who I was.
Who was I really? Would I ever be taken seriously with who I am as an individual in society?
In 2018, the Met Gala’s theme was Heavenly Bodies.
It could not have come at a more appropriate time. At a time that I was losing my religion, I saw the beauty of the culture of religion and it’s endless possibilities.
It was a curation of my drag aesthetic and a birth of Fallon Angel. I took this priests words and I have made it a point to become a leader through my identities.
If anything, this interaction motivated me to become more authentic to who I am and to rise above the ignorance and hate. This was a moment of reclaiming my pride.
To this day, I still do not know where I stand with religion but I know is that the words of others don’t matter and only I can judge myself.
