Jules HoeptingIf you’re new to something, it’s easy to look foolish while doing that something. So, why not l learn what NOT to do the easy way — by laughing at how ridiculous these scenarios are instead of trying them out for yourself.
Dress in layers.
That mountain you’re about to climb with snow on the peaks is — you’ll never guess — cold on top! And, since it’s a mountain peak and there’s nothing to block the wind, it’s probably windy on top. You should bring a coat to ensure your body is warm.
Seems obvious, but I saw a group of people march to the top of a mountain in shorts. I asked them if they had jackets. They did not have jackets. I bid them good luck, hoping they didn’t get cold as easily as I did.
Other notes. If you’re hiking through the woods, it’s going to be colder then if you’re hiking in the sun. If you’re walking next to a large body of water, chances are, there isn’t going to be anything blocking the wind.
Thus, you should plan your attire accordingly. Check the weather ahead of time. Wear comfortable clothing. Wear a t-shirt, bring a sweatshirt. Wear shorts, bring pants. Having options is handy. If you can’t have options, overdress; you’d rather be too warm than too cold.
Don’t wear white sneakers.
Should be obvious, but I have seen many people wear white shoes on muddy trails, then worry about getting their shoes dirty. Or people wearing flats, heels, flip flops, and various other shoes ill-equipped for harder trials. Easy, flat trails, flip flops are fine.
That said, what footwear you feel comfortable in partially depends on the person. Before I got Raynaud’s* in my toes, I used to wear flip flops all the time on trials; just don’t expect floppy shoes to hold up for climbing an Adirondack mountain. Please wear actual hiking shoes for mountains.
Also, hiking shoes are expensive, so I wouldn’t recommend purchasing a pair unless you plan on getting good mileage out of them.
*Raynaud’s Phenomenon is when you lose blood circulation in your fingers or toes when exposed to cold temperatures. For me, “cold” temperatures are 60 degrees and below.*
Don’t vlog your experience at the beach.
Okay, so this one is more of a pet peeve. If you’re at the beach, please just enjoy the beach.
Don’t Take Selfies with Wild Animals
This one is dangerous, and should be an obvious no no, but I did see a man pull out a selfie stick, turn his back towards a bear that was SEVEN FEET AWAY FROM HIM and take a selfie.
If it’s a taxidermy bear, sure, take a selfie.
Bear Spray vs. Bug Spray
“Bear spray” by jkbrooks85 is licensed with CC BY 2.0. 
“Off and Cutter DEET Insect Repellent – Bug Spray” by Tony Webster is licensed with CC BY 2.0.
On the topic of bears, bear spray is something you should carry around with you if you plan on walking through the woods where there are bears. The can contains one spray (about 8 seconds of spray). You use that spray if you encounter a bear.
Bug spray is something you spray on yourself to repel mosquitos from piercing your skin and sucking your irony-tasting blood. You can spray yourself hundreds of times.
(Mosquitos love me. My grandpa took me camping when I was 13. I didn’t spray myself in bug repellent. We went on a trail. He got the bright idea to walk 10 feet behind me, so that all the mosquitos would bite me and not him. His idea was cruel and hilarious and highly-effective. On the car ride home, I counted over 70 mosquito bites from the three-day, two-night trip).
Now, I understand where the confusion between these two sprays comes from. Before I knew what bear spray was, I assumed you sprayed it on yourself. You don’t. Do not spray bear spray on yourself. You will not be happy with yourself.
Don’t drown out your surroundings with music.
Again, this one depends what type of trail you’re on. If you’re on the mountain in the middle of nowhere, don’t turn up the music so loud in your ears or near your ears that you can’t hear your surroundings. You need to be able to hear if things are happening around you.
If a bear appeared, you might want to know about that.
(I have not had an encounter with a bear. I keep bringing up bears because bears scare people into action. I went to a campsite with a racoon problem that told its campers to store away their food at night so the bears wouldn’t get it).
Don’t walk on ski tracks on ski trails.
I learned this one the hard way. I assumed ski trails were like snowmobile trails in that it didn’t matter if you walked in the tracks they made, as long as you got out of the way when the snowmobile/skier came by. A pissed-off lady let me know I assumed incorrectly.
If a trail is meant for cross country skiing and is primarily used by cross country skiers, don’t walk on the ski tracks. It messes with their groove (quite literally). You can walk on the side of the ski tracks. Or just seek out a trail meant for snowshoeing.
Don’t litter.
Do I really need to expand on that?
(Don’t put condoms and beer bottles under bridges, please. Don’t throw bikes, shopping carts, mattresses, Christmas trees, and suitcases in canals, please).
See https://walktheeriecanal.wordpress.com/2020/07/21/flashy-trash/ for more interesting canal trash.
Think before you ask a question.
My aunt let me glance through a book titled “When Do You Let the Animals Out?: A Field Guide to Rocky Mountain Humour.” The book was created by asking Parks Canada employees what the most entertaining questions they had been asked by tourists were.
Obviously, the book wasn’t intended for New York, but the questions people ask are pretty entertaining and illustrate my point.
“How do you paint the bottom of the lake [to make them so blue]?”
“How do elk [substitute with deer] know to cross at elk crossing signs?”
“At what elevation does an elk become a moose?”
That said…
ASK QUESTIONS!
An unintelligent question is better than an unintelligent mistake.
Happy trails! =)
