Growing Up!
In the first week of March I turned twenty-one years old.
Super exciting, finally legal!
Turning twenty-one feels absolutely crazy. I’m almost lost for words, but I have so many.
Obviously I’ve been thinking about my future since the first day I stepped onto my college campus, but now that reality is starting to become true.
In the next year I will be a graduate college student ready to enter the real world.
I’ve been in panic mode.
Where will I live when I’m older?
Will I like my job?
Am I gonna be married one day?
Will my friendships now carry into this new chapter?
So many thoughts, so many questions.
As someone who likes to be in control of things and has a perfect idea of how my life is supposed to go, I don’t have any of the answers.
It’s actually terrifying and I’ve been practicing letting things go and just let them become what they are supposed to be.
Getting older is hard. It’s talked about a lot but you still feel alone sometimes.
I’m an hour away from home and still get homesick and just want to be at home with my family.
Obviously this is normal, but realizing that after college and since being at school I have two homes now.
Living at home with a full house and living with roommates are very different, luckily mine are my best friends so I also have a second family.
My life at home is drastically different then my life at school. Not in a bad way but I just don’t do the same things.
As a newly twenty-one year old I still get upset when I have to go back to school after a break at home.
Once I’m at school I’m okay again because like I said, they’re my second family.
After college I know I will probably be living at home for a year to save money, but it won’t be the same from the last time I lived at home full-time.
That was four years ago when I was a senior in high school. Life was different, I was a literal baby, that girl four years ago had no idea what was going to happen.
Not knowing is so scary and very overwhelming, but I remind myself that so many others are experiencing the same thing I am.
As Joy Oladokun and Noah Kahan said in their song “We’re all gonna die tryna figure it out, we’re over our heads, so I’ll say it out loud, we’re all gonna die tryna figure it out.”
This song is called “We’re All Gonna Die”, it has honestly gotten me through my “where is my life going?” breakdowns.
We’re all over our heads because the world throws a million things at us on a daily basis.
None of us are prepared for how our lives are going to go because we won’t know until we get there.
You’re not alone, we are all trying to figure it out and we’re all terrified to see where life takes us!
